Rewatched Ghost Rider and yes, the sequel/soft reboot is much more enjoyable.

Or, as I like to call it, this week’s Object of Beauty.

GH: SoV is a delightful tale about a family road trip with the (cutie-patootie) antichrist, his mother, his absolutely-fucking-batshit-insane, creepy-yet-endearing, impromptu father figure, and Idris Elba, said father figure’s alcholic, French, monk lover. My favourite scene was Moreau and Johnny’s (indirect) kiss before going into battle. They are the best gay uncle-figures an antichrist could have.

I may have had a lot of sugar during this movie. It was so fucking cool.

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Fuck, that was clever. But it was a bit of a Manic Pixie Dream Boy plot, to be honest.

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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

So it was funny at first, with some nice, fairly simple gags with Carter’s CONSTANT FUCKING ESCAPES.

And then what.

In retrospect, I should have looked up what it was all based on, because reading up about the original novels is extremely telling. If you cannot stand the whole ‘Mighty Whitey’ comes and saves the poor indigenous peoples, subsequently rules them, DON’T WATCH THIS FUCKING MOVIE.

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Writing this quickly before I go to sleep because this is going to be a blah review whether I’m half asleep or not.

So. Uh. That was really fucking boring. Took a whole half hour to get any sort of a laugh out of me, and by that point I was only half watching while I read articles on Cracked (hush, I am very professional). I liked Sam Rockwell the best but I really wanted the entire movie to swivel around to having Ella (Wilde’s character) as the protagonist. That could have been really cool. Make the ‘fish outta water’ a bit more distanced than just ‘you’re a stranger, we don’t like strangers’. Maybe some culture shock. I wasn’t empathising with anyone at all. It felt confusing. Dolarhyde’s subplot took me a bit to understand. I wasn’t sure if it was heading the direction of ‘must adopt new son’ or ‘must fix bonds with old son’ or what but it kinda failed abysmally. Jake and the gang- that was funny. Could have been a bit more interesting, strengthen the bonds between some of them, not make every fucking relationship in this movie have some grounds in fear. But, yanno.

Uh. The aliens were cool design? I feel a bit like I need to go watch Super 8 again, something about them reminded me of the alien in that.

Sci-fi westerns can be way better than that was.

SO I AM WRITING THIS IMMEDIATELY AFTER WATCHING IT (seriously the credits are rolling as I type) because I want to hurry on to catching up on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report before I tackle Cowboys and Aliens so yeah very much fresh impressions.

That was fucking ridiculous. Fun for the most part. God damn, we needed more women than ‘love interest, victims and love interest no. 2/action babe’. Gimme the head of the church as a woman. Gimme the sheriff as a woman. Though I did enjoy all the actors’ performances. The sheriff, actually, particularly amused me, he was adorbsable. I did the same when I watched the latest Underworld movie- the protagonist’s protege character in that I liked too, particularly when he was using a whip in that one sce- WRONG MOVIE BACK TO PRIEST.

It was so damn cheesy. I’ve never watched a live action adaptation of a manhwa before, though, and not read that many manhwa anyhow, so maybe it’s the style, but I’m now quite interested in seeing if I can track down a translated copy, just to see what sort of adaptation the movie was.

Blah blah, Paul Bettany, keep doing roles like this and like in Legion that was also cheesy and delicious let me lick your face

what

If there’s a lesson that I learnt from watching this movie, it’s that even my attempts to maintain low expectations for the movies (and thus enjoy more films) I watch can fail me. I saw this one a couple of days ago, and have been forgetting to write my review (I’m skipping over Bridesmaids and another one that I’ve already forgotten what it was that I watched), so I’ve seen a bit more of other peoples’ opinions regarding this movie than usual: primarily princehamlette’s review, which I’ll probably end up referring to at least once or twice.

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Rupert Graaaaaaaaaves.

Rupert Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaves.

This is going to be a bit of an informal review because I didn’t have a chance to write the review last night before bed (ie. at least an hour or so after I watched the movie), and I’m also writing this during my ‘Develop and apply knowledge of library/information industry’ class. Damn, I really need to work on a shorter title to refer to that class with.

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Or, Ryan Gosling stares at everyone.

I guess this movie was a confusing lesson to me about how I react to and expect movies, based on whatever trailer, gossip, etc I’ve heard beforehand. I only saw one trailer for this movie, some time ago (I think it was a month or two before it was even released), and the general impression I got was that it was going to be a ‘Fast and Furious’ ripoff. I liked Tokyo Drift (the only FF movie I’ve seen) though, so that wasn’t any reason for me to skip the movie. I didn’t have any major reason to go see it either, so when I couldn’t afford for a while to just go see movies to pass the time, I didn’t bother. What did trigger me to go see it was seeing an interesting post about a The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo/Drive crossover (it was about Lisbeth and the Driver being friends or something, I’ve unfortunately lost the post so I can’t reglob it). As I was expecting it to be a brainless driving action flick, this struck me as a strange crossover, but I had time to burn, so I got myself a copy.

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Firstly:

Dad suggested I try and be a bit mroe thorough in my ‘reviews’ of things I watch. He doesn’t know that I already do reviews, that is, just that I tend to get analytical when people ask me if I enjoyed the movie. Anyway, I like the idea, and the next movie I watched was Chronicle, so onwards and upwards. Of course, there are likely to be more spoilers about the things that I talk about, but I’ll probably end up being rather vague, and I’m sure you can all deal.

Finally:

So I liked it, but I do have a large soft spot for ‘found footage’ films. For those of you who have a problem with motion-sickness, as a result of the jittery footage, if you can deal with the first half hour, it gets smoother from then on out. Actually, the main thing I liked about the movie was how they dealt with showing the story only through the found footage- especially as you reach the climax of the film.

The plot wasn’t hugely original, but I do read too much of TVTropes. I would have preferred to see it with Matt and Steve’s ultimate positions switched- Steve ended up feeling like a bit of a sacrificial lamb, as he didn’t receive much character development once we had established that he was a nice guy, and not the jerk jock that I initially expected. Andrew’s character was the most thought-out and developed, I thought- Matt the second best, and then Steve. I felt that Matt would have been a little more interesting to follow a bit more, but I’ll conceed that it would have felt a bit out of place, considering that Andrew was the protagonist for the majority of the movie.

Plus, the shipper in me honestly thought that Steve was gonna mack on Andrew at more than one point.

Pooppoop:

I don’t think I’ll write these as ‘4 AND A HALF STARS OUT OF A SHOE’ sort of reviews. I rarely read reviews with the intention of using them as my guide to whether I should go watch a movie or not. I prefer to read them to see if my reading of a movie is in line with everyone else’s thoughts, and, if not, why did everyone else see something different. Hopefully they’ll get a bit more formal, though, but time will tell.